BDSM Ideas – Kinky, Punishment, Sex different Scene Techniques
BDSM gets a bad rep amongst vanilla people, and they get the idea that it is dirty or weird. They think it involves causing as much pain as possible.
They think pain, whips, chains, and leather. Whilst this is true to a certain degree, it is by no means all that is involved in the scene and if they actually took the time to look into it they would see that it can be one of the most fun and enjoyable forms of foreplay, or even as a stand-alone activity between two consenting adults. You can check out our BDSM cams page for more kinky chat sessions and ideas
BDSM, S&M or female domination (femdom) comes in many different forms. Those same vanilla people would be surprised to know that even if they have so much as tied their partner up (or been tied themselves) then they have already used BDSM.
If you are an adventurous couple looking to spice things up, a guy who is going to use a live femdom cams site to be dominated, or someone looking to visit a Dominatrix but not quite sure what he wants, there are an endless amount of things that can be done within any BDSM scenario.
It is impossible to list them all, not to mention all of the different variations, that can be performed. What we have done here though, is try to give you a base outline of some kinky BDSM ideas that you can use.
They can be used by beginners looking to get a foot in or experienced couples looking for new ideas that they can maybe adapt to their own experience level.
Have a read through them and see if anything takes your fancy. You don’t need to convert the spare room into a dungeon and you don’t even need to spend a fortune on specialist equipment either
1 – Tie your partner up. Pretty much everyone will have done this. Tie your partner up and you make them helpless. Depending on your activities you can then either tease them or abuse them. You can use simple items such as belts or scarves to tie each other up, or you can employ ropes. If you want to get even more adventurous you can buy specialist cuffs for the ankles and wrists to secure the “sub” for your pleasure
2 – Spanking. Everyone likes spanking. Especially when you are already turned on, being spanked heightens your endorphins and rather than hurting, it is incredibly erotic and a huge turn-on. Many women, in particular, enjoy having their arse slapped during sex. Put your partner across your knee and dish out slaps to his ass depending on both your limits. Spice it up by using hairbrushes, wooden spoons, or investing in paddles from an online sex shop
3 – Make him beg you to be allowed to cum. You don’t need to restrain him but it helps, not to mention making the whole thing more erotic, and then tease him. Kiss him, kiss his chest, grope him, tease his nipples, tease and torment his throbbing hard cock until he is almost in tears with his desperate need to cum.
Then make him beg for it. He will be so desperate he will really go for it. Take the opportunity to add some humiliation to your play and make him tell you he is weak, pathetic, a loser for begging you to be allowed to cum, or anything else that takes your fancy
4 – Sit on their face. Especially when he is restrained, if you are teasing him and you feel horny but don’t want to give him any pleasure just yet, hop onto his face and have him lick you out. Sitting on his face is a fantastic power play activity to show who is in charge during this play activity
5 – Use candle wax. Candle wax is great. Hold a lit candle over your restrained partner, tilt it slightly and watch the fear and excitement in his eyes. Then drip that burning wax onto his nipples, chest, stomach, or, for more experienced players, his cock and balls.
6 – Use tease and denial. Tease him by flaunting your boobs, ass, legs, feet, etc at him, wear tight clothes, rub your pussy on his face or cock, stroke his dick, wank him till he’s just about to cum then stop. Tease him till he’s close to tears but deny him an orgasm or let him cum.
7 – Don’t touch their private parts. Touch everywhere else. Rub his chest, lick his nipples, kiss him, kiss his neck, run your hands all over him but don’t touch his cock no matter how much he begs. His dick will be rock hard and throbbing but leave it unattended. Run your hands right up to it and then bypass it and laugh and giggle as he groans and bucks his hips
8 – Hair pulling. Even gentle hair pulling can be incredibly erotic. During sex or when you want to direct his head to a certain position, pull him by the hair. It is a big sign of dominance on your part and is one of the best forms of mild pain infliction
9 – Put a gag on them. If his whining is annoying you or he complained too much last time you used female domination in your kinky play, put a gag on him so he doesn’t bother you. A scarf in the mouth and tied around his head is effective, or you can invest in a specialist ball gag to shut him up
10 – Make them kiss your feet or your boots. To show his subservience to you, and your dominance over him, make him get on his knees and kiss your feet. This is one of the first acts anyone thinks of when asked to describe femdom or S & M. Direct them in where to kiss (your toes, your soles, your heels) and for added effect gently tap the top of his head with a riding crop to direct him as well.
11 – Whip them. You can use a belt, a crop, a specialist whip, or even a power cable. Tie your partner face down and then whip their back or their ass.
You can use this as a threat, as punishment for wrongdoing (such as not licking you out good enough), or just as a stand-alone act. Word of caution though, research this before going at it heavy. Gentle flogging is fine but if going for heavy-duty whipping, you need to avoid places such as the kidneys and liver.
12 – Use a vibrator and make your partner remain quiet. This is harder than it sounds. Get him hard and then use a vibrator on his cock, dick head and balls but tell him he is to remain absolutely silent. This will be almost impossible. As soon as he makes any noise, stop and slap him, drip candle wax on him, call him names, anything you have agreed beforehand as a punishment.
Then start again. The real beauty is that the longer you do this, the harder it will be for him to stay totally quiet. To add more to it, also make him stay totally still with no squirming or movement or bucking of the hips and laugh as he struggles
13 – Use words such as “sir” or “madam”. Using these words to address your Domme during a scenario is a fantastic way to cement the sub/Dom play. Even better, it does not cost anything. There is no outlay for implements or apparatus.
14 – Lock them in a chastity device. Denying a man an orgasm for an extended period of time makes him submissive and much more eager to please. You will find he is attentive to your needs when he doesn’t have his own selfish desires to concentrate on. Plus, as he gets more and more horny and frustrated as the days and weeks roll on without him getting any relief, you will find he gives you a much better head and goes at it like a champ when you push his head down.
15 – Cuckolding. You don’t need to ACTUALLY sleep with other men if neither of you is comfortable with that. Instead, you can just talk about it, how good it would be and what you would do with them. To take it a stage further you can talk about your ex-boyfriends and the things she did with them.
If you are going down the cuckold humiliation route, you could talk about how big their cock was and how much better in bed they were. Words of caution though, after you have finished your scenario it is vital to use proper aftercare with this type of scenario. Your current lover, although on board with all this, needs to be reassured you don’t actually think these things otherwise your relationship is heading for a bad patch
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16 – CFNM. This is an anacronym for Clothed Female, Naked Male, and is basically where you as the dominant female remain fully clothed (or in your underwear) and he is naked as a jaybird. Being the only one naked and exposed will be shameful for him. Your dignity is intact but he isn’t.
17 – Make him wear his underwear. Having to wear your underwear will be deeply embarrassing for him, especially if you put him in your skimpiest thong or your frilliest knickers. Make him keep them on even when you do have sex
18 – Put a collar and lead on him. Attach a collar around his neck and clip a lead onto it so you can lead him around. Make him get on all fours and crawl like a dog or just use it to yank him down to kiss your boots or to go down on you. For added humiliation, you can use it to tie him to a radiator or the staircase banister and leave him there for a while
19 – Take him with a strap-on or dildo. Being fucked in the ass is a fantasy of a lot of men, even totally straight ones but many don’t want to take that over to real life. If you want to feel totally in control of him, and he wants to feel totally submissive to you, then bend over and have you screw his ass when you are wearing a big dick. To increase his degradation, make him beg for it. Really make him beg and plead for you to fuck his arse (Mockingly telling him his begging is ridiculous and he needs to try harder) then have him suck it and give you a blowjob before you bend him over
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20 – Make him your sex slave. All men dream of being a woman’s sex slave, ordered to have sex with her multiple times a day whenever she is horny so do this with each other. Tie him to the bed and leave him there, only coming in when you want sex.
21 – Attach nipple clamps. Much like spanking, the pain of nipple play is pleasurable for the most part so a pair of nipple clamps work well for heightened endorphins to make for a better play session. If you don’t have any nipple clamps, clothes pegs are wonderful alternatives
22 – Biting. Another great activity that can be done with any degree of pain you want. Even a gentle bite on the neck or nipples is enough to create intense feelings and make for an extremely enjoyable experience
23 – Use ice cubes. Cold play is far more common in BDSM than you would think. The sensation of having ice cubes ran all over the body, the ice-cold sensation against the warm skin (already heated up from the rush of excitement of the play) is something that cant be described but gently rubbing it on his chest, neck, in between his thighs or round his cock and balls will make for a superb session between you
So there you have some kinky BDSM ideas that you can try out for yourself. Even if you do not want to use them as you see here, you can always change them or adapt them to suit your own level or tastes.
If you are unsure of what to do or what direction suits you, why not visit an online Domination website where you will be able to have a cam chat with a Mistress who can guide you in the art of female domination and how you can make your play more enjoyable for the both of you. Might be worth considering.
BDSM Punishment Ideas
Need some ideas on how to punish your submissive? We have compiled a list below of more sexy and punishment ideas from roleplay to game ideas. We will be covering solo and self-BDSM ideas. We will also be discussing torture, tattoo, and training methods.
Tedious Punishments –Not all punishments involve pain. Some are tedious and mind-numbing, and almost always are totally pointless. Tasks such as moving a whole bag of rice from one side of the room to the other using only a pair of tweezers, or even worse chopsticks. Maybe having to count how many cornflakes are in a packet, or write “I will obey Mistress every second of every day” 250 times, with an extra ten added every time he slows down or makes an error. The slave being punished will be left to endure his tedious punishment while his Mistress relaxes with a magazine or watches tv.
Negative punishments – This can be varied and you can try different ways but mainly it’s losing the ability to enjoy your usual hobbies and things you enjoy like gaming, football, going out. You could even introduce things like a loss of table privileges (forcing them to eat from a dog bowl or from the floor), Having to do chores while cuffed, or not allowing them toilet privileges are some other good ideas that can be introduced.
Introduce food that they dislike and make this be the only type of food they get to eat from now on. You can also deny them the privilege of orgasms. You can add many different things to the negative Punishments, just think about what he despises and use it against him.
Productive Punishments – Use your sub to clean up after you, after all that is what they are there for. Make them do chores one-handed or blindfolded and have fun with it, give them a list of tasks you have needed to be done for a while, and give them a set amount of time to complete them. You could spice it up and make him wear high heels as he cleans or listens to music the same song on repeat through his headphones.